Mending the Broken Spark
by AutobotGuy710
Summary: AU. Post-DOTM. [SideswipexArcee] A year after the devastating loss of their sparkling, Sideswipe and Arcee struggle to keep their lives together. That is until NEST takes on a project to help their public image and give back to the community: fixing up a group home. There Sideswipe befriends a young, disfigured boy named Charlie, who may just change the couples lives forever.
1. PROLOGUE: Tragedies

A/N: So "A Window Into the Past" is canceled. But I really wanted to do a fic with Sideswipe, and something different anyway. So here we are, my first part romance fanfiction! And with my favorite ship, no matter how different it is. I really want to do this fic because it's a bit deeper than my usual fare, and I want to explore romantic plots more as well. So here we go.

In this AU Arcee, Chromia, and Elita survived Egypt. Ironhide also survived the events of DOTM. And lastly, no AOE.

Thanks to my beta, sidekicks-anonymous, for her work on this chapter!

PAIRINGS: SideswipexArcee (main), OptimusxElita, IronhidexChromia

 **WARNING:** Dark subject matter in this chapter and overall fic. We deal with "still birth" a bit in this and various chapters. So just be warned that this is the driving force for Sideswipe and Arcee this fic.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Transformers. That's Hasbro/Takara and Paramount/DreamWorks.

...

 **PROLOGUE** **  
** **Tragedies**

Sideswipe had tried to accept his sparkling was dead, but part of him didn't want to believe it.

He and Arcee had waited so long to have a child that the mere thought broke his spark. Sure, some had thought he was still too immature for fatherhood, but he'd been excited. He had been so ready to take that kid on crazy adventures, teaching him about the world, and getting him in on his and Sunstreaker's pranks. But Primus had decided it was not to be; instead he was only going to face sparkbreak.

He sat outside the medbay now, face in his palms, as he tried to take it all in. He'd sent Sunstreaker off, much to his twin's chargin, because he honestly didn't even want him there now. He could already feel the sadness in his brother's spark at the loss of his nephew and that was enough.

"Sides..."

Sideswipe groaned, not wanting to hear anything from Ratchet. He didn't need a creation bond to know how badly his adoptive creator was hurting. After all, he had been the one to have to deliver his stillborn grandcreation. "Go away, Ratchet. I don't want to hear it..." Sideswipe was silent after that. "I can't hear it."

Ratchet was silent, his soft blue optics staring at his adopted creation. "You need to be with Arcee right now, Sideswipe. Her spark is hurting..."

"I know that!" Sideswipe snapped. "I can feel everything, you know." His hands were shaking, his voice caught in his throat. He didn't want to believe that his sparkling was dead…but the more he accepted it, the more it tormented his fragile psyche.

"I understand... But I also know you're going to need each other to heal." Sideswipe looked up at Ratchet as he said that. "You'll have Sunstreaker and myself as well. But we can only do so much. This is a very personal matter you must deal with."

Sideswipe was silent for a moment. "What went wrong? Do you know?"

Ratchet looked as though he didn't want to tell Sideswipe the answer. But as he was stared down, he took a deep breath and finally sat down next to him. "Her spark chamber isn't strong enough to handle two sparks... It seemed healthy at first, but it didn't develop properly. So being outside of the chamber itself simply... killed it." Sideswipe could feel coolant moving up into his eyes. "I'm sorry, Sideswipe. But this most likely means you two can't..." He felt his own voice caught now.

"It means we can't have sparklings." Sideswipe whispered.

"Not of your own creation at least, no. It's not impossible, perhaps in time if I could study it, things may be different. But it's a very low chance." Ratchet told him gently.

Sideswipe tried not to lose himself there and then. But he told himself now wasn't right. When they were alone, he and Arcee could grieve. But now? Now he was too numb to do anything but sit there in stunned silence. "Did you tell 'Cee?" He asked.

"Of course I did. She needed to understand that this was not her fault." Ratchet replied, his voice crumbling a bit. "Nor was it yours. Now Sideswipe, I need you to—"

"Ratch, I know you love me. But can 'Cee and I be alone? Just for a few minutes?"

He could see how much that hurt Ratchet, but his creator had to understand. This was too hard to talk about it, at least at this length. "Just a few minutes, Sides. She has to rest." Ratchet took his arm as the mech stood and rolled towards the door. "I mean that, Sideswipe. She needs time to recover, physically, and emotionally. Don't be long."

Sideswipe merely nodded before rolling quietly into the med bay. He was thankful that Ratchet had taken away the sparkling frame they had created. Seeing that would have made it even more real. But seeing Arcee laying on her side, staring with dead optics at the wall... Well, that was an image that Sideswipe would never get out of his head.

"'Cee..." Sideswipe rolled forward, sitting down, and took her hand in his.

"I can't believe we even tried." Arcee's voice was tight, her optics flickering to her sparkmate. "How stupid did we have to be? Thinking we could be parents to begin with? You're too obsessed with your pranks, and I'm too tough. We were doomed from the start."

Sideswipe shook his head. "Babe, that's not true. You'd have made an amazing carrier..."

Arcee shook her head, turning over. "Yeah, well, now we'll never know if you're right."

Sideswipe's optic ridge furrowed quietly, as he took a deep breath. He knew there were other options, but like Arcee, he had no desire to think about them right now. "It's gonna be OK, sweetspark. We'll figure it out, promise." Sideswipe told her. "Maybe Hatchet's wrong. Maybe you can have sparklings and..."

"SIDESWIPE!" Arcee snapped. "Shut up."

Sideswipe was taken aback by his mate's anger. Sure, she had called him out for saying dumb things in the past, or making dumb decisions. But never with the amount of rage that she'd just expressed. Even if he knew it simply came from the pain of what had happened. "Alright, 'Cee. I know you're hurting but just... Try to get some rest..." Sideswipe told her as gently as a mech like him could. "You're gonna need it."

Arcee gripped his hand a little tighter. "I want to see him one last time."

"Not a good idea." Sideswipe shook his head. "It'll just break your spark more. I don't want to lose you to a broken spark, too."

Arcee was silent, but Sideswipe knew that she would realize he was right. Whether she liked it or not, they were both better off not seeing him again. They'd already said goodbyes when they realized he was gone, and that had been bad enough. "Sides... What did we do wrong?"

Sideswipe was deathly quiet, but finally spoke up. "Nothin'. Absolutely nothin'." He kissed her forehelm quietly and then stood. "Get some recharge 'Cee. I'll be back in the morning."

"I love you."

"And you know I fragging love you too." Sideswipe said, saying it in a way only he would.

He pulled away from the med bay, and didn't give Ratchet another glance. No, for now, all Sideswipe wanted was to be alone with his sorrow. And so without another word, he transformed into his alt mode, and took off out of the base. He'd tear up Washington DC if he had to, if that made him feel better. He'd do just about anything to take away the pain they were both suffering.

But as he felt Arcee's pain over the bond, he knew it wouldn't go away anytime soon.

...

Charles "Charlie" Dale Ingrim woke up in pain.

He tried to breathe as best as he could, but his lungs were still filled with the smoke he'd inhaled. His mom, his dad, James, Christy, where were they? He'd remembered the bright flames licking the walls, he remembered screaming. He'd remembered the fire licking his own t-shirt and pants before he'd known just about anything.

But were they OK? He couldn't remember where they'd been, not at all.

Some fabric covered the entire left side of his body. And as he struggled to open his eyes, he could only see through it, his vision blurred as tall men in white coats, and two young women looked over him. "Patient suffered third-degree burns all over the left side of his body, but is slowly becoming conscious. Charlie? Charlie, can you hear me?"

"Mmmmm..." Charlie attempted quietly to speak. "Mmmm."

"Patient's responding. I want him in the burn unit immediately." The doctor spoke up loudly. "We need to treat those burns as quickly as possible, or we'll lose him. What about the rest of the family?"

Even though he was only ten, Charlie felt his heart sink in recognition of the way one woman shook her head. What did that mean? Where was his family? Where were they? He tried to move, but found that he'd been strapped down, his ability to move hindered.

There was another voice. "Charlie, Charlie baby, try not to move."

But Charlie couldn't answer anymore, he felt his eyelids dropping quickly. His body gave in, and again, he was in the darkness.

...

When he woke up, his whole life had changed.

He'd already known the part the doctors had started out with. There'd been a raging fire in his home, though they had no idea what started it. And though a man—his social worker, he'd been told—had tried to break it to him gently, there was no gentle way to put it. His entire family was gone, dead before help had even arrived on the scene.

Charlie remembered now, vaguely, that he'd managed to make it to the door with his dad's help. He remembered the crash then, and the screaming. That's when the fire had consumed him too, when his left side had become so numb. A mystery which was also answered for him.

They'd given him a mirror when they'd told him about that. He'd been on fire, they explained, and while they were able to put it out, it'd not been in enough time. His face was scarred, charred, and horribly burned. A sentiment that as he looked down, was shared with the rest of his left side too. They'd explained to him gently that while the burns would eventually heal, he would never look the same.

Some people, when they thought he wasn't listening, called him "disfigured."

He spent many weeks recovering, as well as hoping they were wrong. But by the time he was released, the burns had done their work. Though they'd healed, the scarring was horrific. The left half of his face was misshapen, with scars up and down it. While the rest of the left side of his body looked very much the same, he had very little hair left on the left side of his face. As a result they'd shaved his head, though they assured him it would grow back.

But now, instead of going home, he was going somewhere else.

His parents hadn't had any family he'd known about. At least none that could take in a ten-year-old boy, the doctors had said. And now? Now he was going into something called foster care. They'd talked to him about it for a little bit, mostly telling him he was going to live with nice people. People that they hoped would take care of him until he had a permanent home.

He'd broken down into tears at that, realizing what it meant.

He'd lost everything in that fire, that horrible raging inferno. His parents, brother, and sister were dead, their funerals being attended to by the family's friends who were unable to care for him. He was damaged in a way that could never be reversed. And everything that they could recover from the ashes had been placed into two trash bags in preparation to take him to a new home.

Because he no longer had one.

"It's going to be okay, Charlie." His social worker, who he now knew was named Titus, spoke up from the front seat of his car. He met the boy's dull blue eyes in the rearview mirror. "You're going to live with good people, I promise."

But sitting between the two trash bags, Charlie doubted it, though he wouldn't say anything. He hadn't said much since learning what happened, anyway. What could he say? And how could he, at only ten years old, express his grief?

The only way he could do so was to let tears fall down his face. He let himself take in the sadness, and let it escape for the millionth time. He hardly noticed the sympathetic look that Titus was giving him. He'd seen enough of those lately, after all; he didn't need it.

He barely looked up as they came to a stop in front of a home. Not his home, not anything that he recognized, but the "home" they'd assigned him to. The door opened a minute later, and Titus looked in on him. "C'mon, kiddo. They're expecting us."

As Charlie silently stepped out, he only wished he knew what to expect.


	2. A Year Later

**IMPORTANT A/N** : So, heads up. I will be keeping Arcee, Chromia, and Elita-1 as sisters as in the movies. But I hate their designs have them with the gun hands, and a single wheel for movement. So rather than that as their design, just imagine them with feet and two hands, but otherwise the same body type and look otherwise. Hope this clears some things up.

Thanks to everyone who read, reviewed, favorited, and followed the story so far! Glad so many people enjoyed it!

...

 **CHAPTER 1  
A Year Later**

Sideswipe and Arcee did their best to move on in the next year.

Sideswipe himself had buried himself in his pranks, and his work as a front-liner. Making sure to keep his head in the current hunt for the remaining Decepticons on Earth. While Arcee, well, she was grieving the most of the two of them. Even if much like her mate, she was doing everything she could to keep herself together. Optimus, Elita, Ironhide, Chromia, Ratchet, and Sunstreaker had all helped them as best they could, even if it was only pitching in as much support as they could give the two of them.

But, some things had yet to change, especially now that they were no longer expecting parents. They'd turned the nursery into a training room in the quarters the twins shared with Arcee. They never talked about children, Cybertronian or otherwise. And most of all, their relationship felt a blatant amount of strain on account of what had happened, much to his dismay.

That's why he already felt nervous about what the meeting he was in was about.

"I think this goodwill mission will put you guys back in the public eye in a good way." He listened to Colonel Lennox quietly as he spoke up from the head of the table. "The Frahamn Group Home is barely standing on its last legs. And given the fact their owner is such a vocal supporter of you, it would be doing a great service to someone who supports the Autobots. Even after Chicago."

A group home, a group home for kids. Sideswipe tried to take in the fact that they wanted them to do this public service. Sure, things had gone a bit sour after Chicago, but they weren't exactly a non-profit group. And the very thought of being around parentless human children made him somewhat uncomfortable.

He knew it was going to be even harder to explain to Arcee. Whom he made notice was not asked to be on the team of Autobots who'd be doing this. And with good reason, he figured. While Sideswipe could swallow his uncomfortableness to help those in need, she sure as pit could not. Not after going through the loss of a spark she'd carried for so long. "Can I ask why we're being asked to do this slag?" Sunstreaker spoke up, Sideswipe turned to his twin quietly in return. "Sides has been through enough with sparklings during the last year-."

"Sunny..."

"Don't "Sunny" me. This is a bad idea." Sunstreaker replied. "An even worse idea for me to get involved. You fragging want me around kids? I'm not exactly kid-friendly."

There was a silence, but Sideswipe raised his hand a little. "I'd like to point out, I'd like to help. I figured I'd just address the... How do humans put it? "Elephant in the Room"?" He added. "Just because I went through what I did doesn't mean _I_ don't like younglings. They make great partners-in-crime."

Sideswipe felt a pain in his spark as he did say that. Sure, that was all very true, but he still couldn't help but feel a great deal of sadness. Arcee wasn't going to like this too much, that much he knew. She'd probably feel like he was weighing other options, and she still wasn't sure what she wanted to do. But in truth, he wanted to move on, and maybe spending time with these kids would help with that.

"I'm sorry, we had not considered this." Optimus spoke up from beside Lennox, his voice tightening in a way that let Sideswipe know he did feel bad. "If you wish to pull out, given the circumstances, we will understand." He explained.

"I said I'll be fine. You guys need to stop treating 'Cee and I like glass." Sideswipe crossed his arms defiantly, trying to keep the strong wall up that he usually did. "So what group home is this, anyway? We talking kids, teens, babies?" He asked, trying to keep the conversation going.

The others went silent for a moment, and he knew the air had grown uncomfortable. Yet after a moment, Lennox cleared his throat, and nodded. "Well, they're mostly different ages. As far as I know they've got ten teens, sixteen pre-teens, and a handful of toddlers." He explained, nodding his head. "These kids are probably going to range in how they feel about you guys being there as a result. But they also really need this, they're short on space. But they're one of the longest-running group homes in the city. They're on the brink of being shut down."

From the corner, Ironhide spoke up. "We won't all be going all the time, though. Small groups only, as far as we've discussed. We're still needed for Decepticon incursions. And the owner, Mr. Standish understands that." Sideswipe listened carefully to Ironhide's words.

"If any of you are against joining the effort, we will not hold it against you." Lennox was honest about that. "Agent Merring and I understand this is tough... We're talking about kids without families here, guys. That's going to be tough for a lot of us. Especially since we're all aware a few of you on the team used to be like these kids."

Sideswipe knew he was referring to him, Sunstreaker, Cliffjumper, and Bumblebee without even asking. Of course, they had once been without families. And despite having found his, this was going to be a double wammy with him. And yet, a part of him felt this was going to be therapeutic, perhaps even helpful. "When do we start?" He asked.

There was a long pause. "Next week." Lennox replied. "If any of you want to volunteer yourselves to go the first day... It's gonna be mostly meeting the kids. Letting them know who we are and why we're there. We won't start actually helping construction until that Friday."

A few Autobots raised their hand, but Sideswipe refrained. He was into joining up with the cause, but the idea of going first... He felt that _that_ might have been too much. "Very good." Optimus nodded. "Then, if there's nothing further to discuss. You're all dismissed."

Sideswipe and Sunstreaker were the first to make their way to the door. But the moment Sideswipe felt his arm grabbed gently, he had a feeling he knew who it was. "What is it Hatchet? My check-up is next week, I checked." Sideswipe turned his head.

Ratchet looked at him silently, but waited until the others had left to speak. He looked his adopted creation in the optics. "Have you... Talked to Arcee about your other options?" Sideswipe felt his optics widen in surprise. "You know, before?"

Sideswipe was silent. "A little. But 'Cee... She's really not sure what she thinks about adoption. It'd have to be a human and that's a little... Hard to imagine." Sideswipe rubbed the back of his neck, then after a moment got the idea. "No, Ratchet. I'm not..."

"I'm just saying. It's a group home, for children who need families." Ratchet told him, his voice stern. "You may not be going there for that reason. But at the very least, think about it, try and make a bond with the kids. It could be good practice if you decide to go that route."

Sideswipe hated it when Ratchet made a good point. Yet he knew that he couldn't bring this up to Arcee, not right now at least. He'd wait until they were alone so she could scream at him all she wanted. He sighed quietly, tilting his head. "You think I should go with the first group then?" Ratchet nodded his head. "Arcee won't come no matter how much you try to talk her into it."

"And you...?"

Sideswipe was silent for a long moment, thinking it over. "Maybe..." Sideswipe managed. "I'll have to think about it a bit."

"Do." Ratchet replied. "Believe it or not, it may do you some good."

As Ratchet left, Sideswipe sighed. How did one answer that? He wasn't sure, he still wasn't even sure he'd do it. "Hey! Are you coming or what?" Sunstreaker shouted as he appeared in the doorway. "Prowl should be opening his office to find himself covered in paint by now. I don't want to be around when he does."

"Patience, afthead." Sideswipe snorted. "I'm coming."

He'd think more about this later.

...

Arcee felt good.

It had been an easy, but eventful patrol, and they had taken down one escaped Decepticon. But now? Now she was simply exhausted, after all, she and her sisters always gave it one-hundred and ten percent. So upon arrival, all she really wanted to do was grab a cube of high grade, and maybe join Sideswipe and Sunstreaker for some relaxation in the rec room.

But upon arrival, and transformation, Chromia brought up the question she didn't want to hear. "So, how are things going with you and Sideswipe lately?"

It was an innocent enough question from the blue female warrior. But Arcee still didn't want to talk about no matter how much they pestered. Things were fine with her and Sideswipe, even though they were still feeling the full force of trauma from what had happened. And yet, her sisters liked to make it seem like their relationship was on its last legs.

Arcee crossed her arms, and gave a quiet roll of her optics. "We're fine. Though he's been extra childish lately. Apparently he has something planned for Prowl today." She took a deep breath. "But I don't know, I think things have been a little shaky since we lost the sparkling. But not that bad."

Arcee could feel their soothing through their sibling bond. This was simply something that they were known to have, given Arcee was, after all, the youngest. "Maybe you should think of other means of having a sparkling." Arcee was silent. "I mean, Sideswipe told you about that group home he's going to help restore, right?"

Arcee's head shot up at Elita's question, her optics widening in surprise. "Uh, Elita?" Chromia began. "I'm pretty sure they haven't seen each other today."

Elita looked as though she was ready to say something more. But Arcee had already transformed down into her pink motorcycle form, and torn off down the hallway. She knew her sisters would be concerned, but in the end, she didn't care right now. Was Sideswipe hoping to actually go looking during this "restoration"? Without at least talking to her?

She knew exactly where to find him too, namely the rec room. NEST soldiers had to dodge her, but she didn't care. Upon reaching the rec room, she transformed up, and stormed inside. "Sides, we need to talk!"

The five words every mech dreaded. Made evident by the looks on the men's faces as they turned to look at Sideswipe, who sure enough was sharing a high grade with Sunstreaker. "Uh... What did I do now?" Sideswipe asked.

"I think you know, cat's outta the bag, bro." Sunstreaker snorted.

Sideswipe smacked his brother upside the helm, looking at Arcee. "Look, babe. I'm not going there looking for anything if that's what you're talking about. Prime and Lennox asked Sunny and I to help." Sideswipe tried to talk himself out of this situation. "And why are you angry anyway?"

"Because you're going to a group home, Sides. What happens if you get attached to one of the kids?"

Sideswipe shook his head. "I don't know, what happens? 'Cee, at some point we're going to have to face this. I don't know about you, but I still want to be a sire" He told her, at which point Arcee averted her gaze. "We don't have to do anything. But feeling it out wouldn't hurt, right?"

Arcee gave him a sharp glare, which made him rub the back of his neck. The frontliner could tell that this was going to be a point of argument with them already. "I told you we would talk about this eventually. But you could have at least talked to me about it before you said yes." She told him bluntly. "I don't like this idea, Sideswipe..."

Sideswipe looked at her, and then sighed. "Yeah, well I do. Even if nothing happens, these kids and I share a similar past... I mean, think about where Sunny and I used to live before Hatchet took us in." Arcee looked to have a pang of guilt as he mentioned that. "I want to do this for more than just "testing the waters", 'Cee. Can you at least believe me there?"

Arcee looked Sideswipe in the optics silently. But Sideswipe knew he had absolutely nothing to hide, not that he could with the bond. He wasn't sure he would even meet any kid that clicked in any way, friendship or otherwise there. But he did want to help these kids, since he absolutely knew what it was like to be in that situation. He and Sunstreaker had been those kids before they had run away and fallen into Ratchet's arms.

The thought that maybe he could help these kids, and teach them a prank or two along the way, made him feel good. "Alright, I can understand that. But I'm just warning you now... I don't think I can go there, not so soon." Arcee explained. "So, just try not to get attached?"

Sideswipe smirked. "I'll do my best. But you know me babe, kids love the terror twins."

"Yeah, too bad I'm not the biggest fan of them." Sunstreaker snorted. "You can play nicey-nice with the kids. Me? I don't even know why I'm going. But maybe I'll teach the teens a thing or two about street racing, or something..."

"Yeah, nothing could go wrong there." Arcee rolled her optics. "Promise me I won't have to go down there and drag you away from authorities."

"I can't promise that." Sunstreaker shrugged.

Sideswipe rolled his optics. "Neither can I technically. I was planning to show them a thing or two about pranks." Arcee smirked a bit. "What? You can't expect me not to."

Arcee shook her head, a somewhat amused look in her optics. She crossed her arms slightly, and then spoke up. "Remind me why we're together when you and your brother are the most immature mechs I've ever met?"

Sideswipe grinned. "Because I'm fragging good looking. You're a badaft. And our sparks chose each other."

Arcee only smiled back, looking him in the optics one last time. "Alright, hopefully this doesn't end in disaster." She explained, then paused a moment. "Just remember, I don't know if I'm ready to try to be a carrier, not again."

"Yeah, babe, I get it." Sideswipe nodded.

Though deep inside, he was secretly hoping they might find something to change her mind.

...

Charlie sat outside the Frahamn Group Home silently.

In the past year, it was the first of his foster placements that was a group home and he hated it already. There were thirty-one kids in the home, including him, and it was in complete disrepair. As far as the eleven year old knew, it had been around since the fifties, and as a result, in desperate need for a remodel.

Charlie didn't care what they did about that though. He figured, given his track record of five homes, including this one, in the past year, he wouldn't be around long to see the changes.

Then, about a month into his arrival, Mr. Standish gathered them in the room to talk to them about fixing up the home. Charlie had stood in the back of the sitting room quietly, keeping his hands in his jeans, and the hood of his jacket over his head. He tried to do that often, as he felt self-conscious about the burns, and who wouldn't? So he tried his best to keep his deformities hidden to avoid bullying.

He'd heard all the names "Freak", "Freddy Krueger", "Jigsaw"... Each of them hurt him enough that he didn't want to hear them anymore and would do whatever it took to avoid them. Which just made Mr. Standish's news all the more frustrating.

"So you see kids, we'll be inviting this group... NEST to come in every week to help with rebuilding this place. Which means we will also be welcoming the Autobots." Standish told them rather plainly. "As far as I understand they'll mostly be in what they call "holoforms". But they will be here, and I expect you to treat them as honored guests."

Charlie knew all about the Autobots. Back in the day, after all, his parents had been vocal supporters of the Autobots. His father, Hank, had once been in the military himself, and had supported the revelation after Egypt that the military was working with them. But the idea of having them here, it made his social anxiety kick in.

Most of the other kids seemed beyond excited. Acting as though the President himself was coming. The very thought, as most of them voiced, that Optimus Prime himself may come to their group home undoubtedly was exciting to most kids. But not to Charlie, definitely not to Charlie...

They'd look at him the same way everyone else did. Perhaps with horror, perhaps with sympathy, or perhaps not at all. But even if they were able to look at him without any of those things, as some people were able to. He'd never be able to talk back. Every time he tried, he felt this deep anxiety and fear.

What if they thought he was stupid? What if they were just faking the kindness?

Because if there was one thing he'd learned about foster care, it was that you could never tell. Sometimes, people would seem nice. But he knew why no one took him in, why no one kept him. He knew that he woke up screaming in the middle of the night for his parents on some days. He knew that even the slightest lighting of a match made his nerves go insane. He knew that people asked questions about the way he looked, and why he was there to begin with.

He knew that he was not the same kid he was a year ago. And no matter what he did, Charlie felt like he couldn't get back to being that same kid.

"How long are they going to be here?" One boy, Nate, spoke up nearby.

"As long as it takes to finish things up. It should be a little over six months, at the most." Standish spoke up. "They'll go in shifts. Though Optimus Prime himself will be overseeing the Autobot side of things. And as I've said before, best behavior, as Mr. Prime is, after all, a considerable politician and leader. Do go and get a good rest, they should be here in the morning for day one."

The mere mention of Optimus Prime himself sent shockwaves through the group. But for Charlie, going to get ready meant going to his bedroom to pass out. Though it wasn't technically "his" room, it belonged to him, and four other boys. Four other boys that he hadn't said two words to since he'd come to live at the home.

Charlie preferred it that way. In his isolation, he could be by himself, remember the good times, and try to move past the bad.

But he missed having a real life. Playing guitar with his dad, and singing together. Mom's fresh baked cookies on a warm summer day. Playing in the yard with his little brother. And playing video games with his older sister. He ran his hands along his face, running them extra long along his scars, the painful reminder of all that he had lost.

And now, he might have a chance to meet the Autobots. Something his dad would have loved to be a part of, but now... Now he'd never have the chance.

Throwing on his pajamas while the others were still downstairs, he climbed into his bed. Closing his eyes in a desperate attempt to get away from all these thoughts. He had to heal, he had to get past this, he told himself.

The problem was, if he never found someone who truly care. He doubted that he would ever be able to do it.

...

A/N: And now we've got the intro chapters done! I hope you all enjoyed them!


	3. First Meeting

**CHAPTER 2  
First Meeting  
**

Sideswipe felt a great deal nervous.

He'd taken Ratchet's advice and gone on the first day, only to find he had no clue what he was doing. They'd introduced themselves to the kids easily enough. But Sideswipe wasn't sure how to take all of them huddling around the forms of himself, Sunstreaker, Ironhide, Optimus, and Prowl looking for autographs, and asking hundreds of questions.

For his part, Standish attempted to keep the kids from going too crazy. And after some time, they'd all split up to get to know the kids a bit better. But Sideswipe, understandably overwhelmed, decided to sneak off for some alone time in the meantime.

He got a good look at the house, which was practically falling apart as he did. He guessed it was truly old, because it couldn't have been from that decade, or the one before that, or before that. But that wasn't the most important thing he caught sight of that day, not by a long shot.

Because that was the first time he saw Charlie.

The brown haired boy was alone in the back of the group home, and fully in the light. So from the get-go, Sideswipe had to hold back his surprise at the misshapen appearance of the youth. A quick search on the internet identified the phenomena as burn scars that had created a deformity on the left side of his body.

At that moment, the boy seemed to be isolating himself from the others. He was at the basketball court, carefully shooting at a basketball hoop that, at his small stature, proved to be a challenge. A part of Sideswipe wanted to leave the kid alone, given he seemed to be doing just OK without company, but another...

Another told him to talk to the kid.

"Shouldn't you be out gawking with the rest of them?"

He'd never seen a human jump higher than Charlie did in that moment. The boy spun around, his eyes widening at the very sight of him. He quickly threw the hood of his jacket over his face as if to hide his scars, and looked away. "Hey, chill. I'm not here to hurt you or anything." Sideswipe replied. "I just thought all the kids were out there."

Charlie side-eyed the mech quietly, his hands shaking a bit. It was obviously anxiety, and well, anyone could see why. A giant robot had just approached him, after all. If this kid was anxious around new people there was no way that he'd not be a little freaked. "Well, aren't all the Autobots supposed to be out front?" The boy tried to turn the situation to him.

Sideswipe snorted, then tilted his head a little. "I think we maybe had the same problem. I mean, ironically enough all those kids kida overwhelmed me back there." He explained, putting his hands on his hips. "I take it you felt pretty intimidated meeting all of us Autobots. It can be pretty scary when you're just a sparkling."

There was a long silence, and then Charlie spoke again. This time, Sideswipe made notice that the boy seemed to ease himself a little. "What kind of Autobot lets himself get scared by kids?" He asked, rather innocently. "You're gigantic."

"I'm not scared! I'm just... Not used to this." Sideswipe defended himself, though in the long run it was a good question. "What kind of kid doesn't want to meet the Autobots?"

"It's not that I didn't want to meet you." Charlie answered honestly, his voice cracking a little. "And I wasn't scared either. I just... Well..."

Sideswipe already knew it had to do with how the kid looked. Most Autobots wouldn't care, but this kid had no way of knowing that. And no doubt there were some jerks out there that would judge something like that. Thus, he made it a point to suggest some other reason. "Not good with new people? I get that. Introductions were never my specialty either." He then paused. "Speaking of, you got a name, kid?"

The boy regarded him for a long moment before answering. "Charlie. And you?"

"Sideswipe."

"Isn't that a fighting move or something?" Charlie asked with a small head tilt of his own.

Sideswipe grinned, impressed the kid would even know that. "Yeah, it is. But it's also the closest thing to an equivalent of my name on Cybertron we got. I think it fits me pretty well, personally." Sideswipe explained. "Isn't Charlie the name of some sort of old human movie star?" He joked back.

"Dunno. I don't watch "old" movies." Charlie shrugged.

Sideswipe relaxed a bit as he rolled closer to the human. At least he could say he broke the ice with one human who wasn't rushing him already. Even if it seemed that the boy wasn't exactly the best conversationalist. "So, I saw you shooting hoops, you any good?" He asked.

Charlie shook his head. "Nah, I just... I mostly play by myself." He explained. "All the kids here are better than me anyway."

Sideswipe frowned, really getting the feeling Charlie was isolating himself. And though he could understand feeling nervous with his scars, he also found it sad. Here this boy was, living with a bunch of other kids, some his age even, and he just... Kept to himself? He was silent for a moment, and then decided what he wanted to do.

His holoform was that of a tall man in his early thirties. He had red hair which he spiked in the front, and bright blue eyes to match his optics. It wasn't the tallest holoform by any means, but he still towered at a somewhat tall 6'2". "Relax, it's me." Sideswipe replied as Charlie took a step back. "Come on, kid. While we're talking we might as well shoot."

"Do you even play?" Charlie asked rather amused.

"Uh... Not really." Sideswipe admitted. "But I've seen humans play on TV. How hard could it actually be?"

His answer was given the moment he struggled to catch the orange ball. But all the same, Sideswipe did his best to keep up with the young boy. They played a game of what Charlie called "Horse" and while Sideswipe had lost miserably, he slowly found himself having fun. Around the second round, he started to get a hang of it, until finally he heard the sound of rolling tires.

"There you are. You disappeared on me. Frag, those kids were all over us."

Charlie jumped again when he saw the golden mech rolling in. But Sunstreaker had yet to take notice of him, rather keeping focused on his twin. "Sorry Sunshine, I got distracted." Sideswipe snarked back. "Charlie over here was just teaching me basketball."

Charlie moved back a little more as Sunstreaker turned his attention to him. "You went away to spend time with another kid one-on-one? Really?" Sunstreaker asked. "I thought you said you needed to get away from them for a second?"

"We were kinda hiding out from the excitement together, I guess." Sideswipe then nodded. "Charlie, he's cool. This is my brother, Sunstreaker."

"Hi." Charlie managed.

"How's it goin' kid?" Sunstreaker nodded.

Charlie looked over to the side of the house, and then chewed his lower lip. Sideswipe knew he was starting to get nervous now, and expected he'd run off at any second. But rather than put the boy through that, he carefully tossed Charlie the ball and disappeared. "Thanks for showing me how to play, Charlie. I'm sure we'll run into each other a lot more." He explained with a smile.

The youngster was silent as he started to roll away with Sunstreaker. But after a moment, he carefully lowered his hood and spoke up. "You saw me without my hood." Sideswipe turned his head. "But you didn't say anything about my..."

"About your what?" Sideswipe replied, turning to him with a comforting smile.

Another few seconds went by, and Charlie gave a ghost of a smile back. Realizing that Sideswipe had no intention of bringing it up, or treating him any different at all. "Right... Well, yeah... I'll probably see you around." He replied. "Bye..."

As Sideswipe rolled away, he caught one last look at Charlie as he began to play some more. He had to admit, despite how quiet the boy seemed, he looked forward to seeing this kid again.

...

"So, how did it go?"

Sideswipe stopped in his tracks as Ratchet's voice called out from his med bay. He looked inside, and found that for the moment at least, Ratchet had no current patients. "Well, I can't say it was terrible. But it was a little crazy... All those kids hero worship the pit out of us." Sideswipe told him as he rolled inside, Sunstreaker, who had been behind him coming up as well.

His twin, however, snorted. "Sideswipe had the best time of any of us. He got the one kid who wasn't swooning or anything. "Apparently he tried to teach Sides how to play basketball. And failed miserably." He explained.

"Give me time, I'll beat him."

"You're six foot two in holoform and he kicked your aft." Sunstreaker teased his twin, nudging him in the side. "That kid couldn't have been more than what? Five foot four? Five foot five at a stretch." He added rather coyly.

"Will you mute it, Sunshine?"

"Stop calling me that!"

Seeing the makings of a fight already, Ratchet stepped between his two sons. Rolling his optics a little, he crossed his arms, and looked between the two of them. "At least one of you two knuckleheads got something out of this." He commented. "So who's this kid?"

Sideswipe shrugged a little. "His name's Charlie. He was kind of avoiding everything because, well..." The front-liner tried to think of the most gentle way to put it.

Sunstreaker, however, without a subtle bone in his body spoke the truth. "Kids got some sort of facial deformity. I saw his left hand briefly, and it seemed to be there too." The more blunt of the twins replied rather cooly. "Poor kid, tough enough not having a home. But he looked like he'd gone through some real slag."

Sideswipe shot his brother a look, but then spoke up. "I looked it up on the internet. Seemed like they were pretty consistent with a burn victim." He explained, shaking his head. "I don't know what to think of that. But he looked lonely, and nervous. So I figured we could "hide out" together."

Ratchet gave a knowing look at Sideswipe. It was clear by the way he talked that he had enjoyed his time with the human after all. "Just be sure you never bring it up to him. I'm sure that it was bad enough to deform his features, its a point of trauma." Ratchet explained. "He would have suffered third degree burns, more than likely."

"Yeah, I wasn't thinking of asking him. I don't even know if we'll talk again after today." Sideswipe snorted. "The kid seemed pretty shy. So I wouldn't be surprised if he avoids me next time."

Sunstreaker leaned against the wall, and gave his brother a look. Even he knew that Sideswipe was the type that would probably get him to talk. He had a way with kids, whether he admitted it or not. "You say that like you aren't going to go straight to him when we go back." Sunstreaker snickered. "When was the last time you let someone stay an introvert."

"Well, I did give up on Mirage after a while." Sideswipe replied honestly.

"Mirage is an aft with something shoved up his tailpipe daily." Sunstreaker snorted. "This kid didn't strike me as that type."

Ratchet cleared his throat to grab the twins attention. At which point Sideswipe turned to look at him. "That being said, Arcee wanted me to let you know she took a late patrol." He told Sideswipe, who looked a little disappointed. "She was having one of her harder days. She figured it would do her some good."

Sideswipe didn't like the sound of "harder days". Arcee's harder days used to be easy, but a typical rough day since the loss of their sparkling was... Well, it was less than pleasant. "It wasn't about this, was it?" Sideswipe replied. "She seemed fine about it when I left."

"No, no. She told me she's quite over being upset about that." Ratchet waved it off. "One of the soldiers simply shared that his wife is expecting... He didn't realize that she was in receptor shot."

Sideswipe sighed, of course that had happened. Usually, Arcee was OK, unless pregnancy or babies were brought up. That was the only real time that she really could go off the deep end. In fact, when Lennox had announced his and Sarah's new baby boy she'd pretty much locked herself in their room. "Fragging pit." Sideswipe groaned. "I'm in for a long night."

Sunstreaker shook his head. "Times like these, I'm thankful I stayed single. You fragged up getting with one of the sister's bro. I'll say that once, I'll say it again."

"When will she be back?" Sideswipe finally asked Ratchet.

"In the morning." Ratchet shook his head. "I'm sure by then things will be OK at least."

Sideswipe hoped he was right as he took a deep breath. Looking over at Sunstreaker, he nodded. "Come on, Sunny. I feel like I'm gonna need a high grade. Or two. Or three."

Sunstreaker watched as Sideswipe rolled out. Realizing quietly that Sideswipe wasn't taking this news well either. Not that anyone could blame either of them, they'd be crazy if they didn't act at least a little weird. "Make sure that he doesn't get completely overcharged." Ratchet told Sunstreaker. "I don't want to deal with that again."

"Aye, aye captain." Sunstreaker gave a two fingered salute.

But they both knew he definitely was going to do just that. Whether anyone liked it, or not.

...

A/N: This was originally a bit longer. But I really felt this was a good place to end this chapter. I just wanted to cover the brief first meeting. Though a lot more interaction starts next chapter. :)


	4. Problems

**CHAPTER 3  
Problems**

"Hey."

Sideswipe was surprised to hear the small voice of Charlie after they'd arrived the next week. But sure enough, there was Charlie, waiting for him by the house. He had the hood over his face again, trying to cover his scars, he could figure. Though he could only guess that it was from the other kids, given he had already seen the scars. "Oh, hey there Charlie. How's it hanging?"

Charlie shrugged a bit, shifting a little as he watched the other Autobots around. In total, four of them had come that day along with Optimus (in his case for a short while this time): Ironhide, Chromia, Mirage, and himself. Sunstreaker had elected to stay behind for the day given he really had been mostly out of place the other day, but knew he'd have to come back sometime anyway.

He could imagine that, at least with Ironhide and Chromia there, it would be a little nerve-wracking to Charlie. Both his brother and sister-in-law were after all, tough customers. "Don't worry, they're all pretty cool. Well, the verdict's still out on Mirage. He's a bit of a wild card." Sideswipe somewhat-assured him.

"I hope so." Charlie was silent for a moment. "I didn't think I'd see you back so soon."

To be honest, Sideswipe wasn't sure why he'd come back so soon either. Or rather, he did, but he wasn't sure if it was just him being weird. But the short answer was that he was looking at the reason: he wanted to see Charlie again.

Maybe it was because they had made a small connection, and the new pregnancy in the NEST family had thrown him off. Or maybe it was just that he liked the kid and wanted to check on him. But either way, Charlie had been close in his processor for the last few days. "Yeah, well, I'm here. Gonna do some work, but I thought I'd come by and at least try to be... Y'know, social." Sideswipe chuckled. "How are things going with you, small fry? Still got those good moves?"

Charlie shrugged his shoulders a bit as he walked alongside Sideswipe. The mech knew he'd soon have to activate his holoform and get to work, but hoped he could at least spare a few minutes. "I'm OK." He told Sideswipe with a rather honest tone to his voice. "Things got pretty boring when you guys left, honestly. Though I didn't get to play basketball much. I tried, but..."

Sideswipe didn't like the silence that followed. "But what?"

"Well, most of the time it's the older kids that play. I tried to go and join them for once... But they told me I was too short. And they..." He paused a long moment. "Nothing... I shouldn't be talking about this. I don't want to be a tattle-tale."

Sideswipe didn't like how that sounded. Turning his head, his optics narrowed a bit. "They didn't bully you, did they? Because if they were, it's grounds for saying something to an adult." He explained. "That isn't cool to pick on someone younger than you."

Charlie didn't seem as bothered by it as he should have been. He kicked up some dirt a bit, and shook his head. "Nah, it's fine. I'm used to it by now, I don't really fit in most places." He explained. "Besides, I don't really get along with people."

"We get along just fine."

"Yeah, but you don't... Look at me different." Charlie explained. "Everyone else does ever since the fire..."

Sideswipe wanted to ask what he meant, but he already had an idea. Charlie was disfigured from a fire, he didn't have a family, which was why he was here... Well, it wasn't hard to figure out what had happened. "No one should look at you much different. So what if you were fragging hurt by a fire? That isn't your fault." He shook his head. "And it makes you no different than any other sparkling."

Charlie was silent for a long moment, and then spoke up. "It wasn't just the scars... Or the fire. It's what happened..." He looked as though he wanted to elaborate on it, but seemed to be hesitating. "Well, I should go. I think they want us in the house for a little while before."

Sideswipe raised an optic ridge. "Before what?"

Charlie shifted on his feet uncomfortably. "Some of us are going to this stupid adoption party thing. It's dumb really, at least when you're our age. You meet some people, but no one really looks at you." He shook his head. "They look at the little kids."

Sideswipe was silent, adoption parties? "You mean they have parties where you can meet foster kids?" He asked.

"Why, you thinkin' of taking one?" Charlie asked rather innocently.

Sideswipe was silent, not wanting to bring that up. Even if he and Arcee decided to adopt, why tell Charlie that? By the time they made that decision, they could have been long done with the group home. Charlie could have been a distant memory. He didn't want to have this kid getting any ideas just because they were starting to become friends, after all.

So he simply frowned, and shook his head. "Not right now, anyway. My uh... My mate and I are still getting over the loss of our own youngling." He explained, making that very clear. "We haven't been thinking about where to go from there. I was just surprised there was such a thing as an "adoption party"."

Sideswipe could see the look of disappointment that Charlie tried to hide. Even if after a moment, it faded, it still made him feel rather bad. He really shouldn't have sounded so interested. "Oh, I'm uh... I'm sorry about your kid." Charlie managed. "How old...?"

"Better I don't answer that question." Sideswipe replied honestly.

Charlie seemed as though he already had a good idea of what Sideswipe meant by that. He was silent for a moment, then mentioned. "I'm sorry..." Charlie shook his head. "I lost my family too."

"I figured." Sideswipe replied. "The fire, right?"

Charlie was silent, and now Sideswipe knew he really didn't want to talk about it. "Charlie! Get in here! I have to make sure you're ready." Standish shouted from the doorway. "Your social workers will be here in twenty minutes."

"Good luck." Sideswipe tried to say as Charlie walked away.

"Thanks." Charlie nodded. "You too."

Sideswipe watched quietly as he disappeared into the house, and took a deep breath. He tried to remind himself that he couldn't get attached to this kid. Sure, they could be friends, but he also knew the last thing he wanted was to get too friendly. Not until he knew Arcee was OK with that.

Yet at the same time, he could already feel it happening.

...

Charlie felt even more dejected later that day when he returned to the home.

He didn't even care about paying attention to whether the Autobots were there. Rather he made himself storm straight to the room he had and slammed the door shut without even so much as a look anyone's way. Sure he hadn't expected anything good to happen, but he had at least expected... Well, he had at least expected families to be nice.

He thought that was the whole reason they didn't let him wear a hoodie. So that they knew right off the bat that Charlie had... Well, that Charlie had his scars. But instead, no one had given him a second glance. And even if they had, they seemed to give him looks that were... Not so nice. Or, at other times, rather sympathetic, but more or less, "not in this lifetime" in nature.

The young boy leaned against the wall quietly, and watched out the window as his social worker and Standish talked. Titus looked like he was trying to explain his behavior. But as usual, Standish didn't look too happy with it. As shown by the fact that after a moment, his eyes lifted to look at him through the window with the coldest glare he'd ever seen.

And if there was one thing he knew, it was not to make Standish flustered.

Sure, Standish was a good guy. He treated them well and nicely, talked to them with respect. But the man had a temper that rivaled most people at times. Sure, he'd never hit the kids, verbally abuse them, or treat them with disrespect. But as far as lectures went? Well, Standish knew how to make you sit down and shut up about attitudes.

That's why Charlie knew that Titus had to be telling the man about the scene he'd made. Charlie didn't see what the big deal was. He'd only thrown the cup across the bowling alley, and stood up, screaming how stupid it all was. After all, he'd seen so many kids at these parties, ones that went through more than he did, do far worse.

But Titus had acted like he had attacked someone. Rather than throw a little fit of rage. A little fit of anger that Charlie felt he deserved to be able to have. Why wouldn't he be angry? Everything had been taken from him, and now he was stuck in this situation with no hope. He knew he had a right to be angry with his situation, he always had a right.

That didn't stop him from tensing when he saw Standish approach the home again. Or when, minutes later, he heard his loud footsteps coming toward the door. "You know you can't hide in there forever." Standish's voice came out, rather scolding. "And you wouldn't be hiding if you weren't embarrassed."

"I'm not embarrassed! I'm angry!" Charlie snapped. "You didn't see the way they looked at me, Mr. Standish. They looked at me like I was some sort of freak! They were all jerks!"

Standish was silent on the other end, seemingly gathering his thoughts. He took a deep breath, and tried to get on his level in a way that surprised him. "That doesn't mean you can go throwing things. If there was anyone who didn't look at you wrong... How do you think they felt afterward?" He asked, rather bluntly.

Charlie wanted to throw something through the door at him for that one. This wasn't his fault. Sure, he had a bit of an attitude in recent months - but could anyone blame him? "It doesn't matter. Everyone wants the handsome kids. I'm a freak, they're right about that. I am." Charlie told Standish as he sat on his bed. "And don't bother coming in to tell me any different."

His ears perked up at a second, not as familiar pair of footsteps. "I take it that "adoption party" he talked about didn't go well." Charlie recognized Sideswipe's voice rather faintly, but didn't pay attention. "Want me to try to talk to him? He seemed to answer well to me."

"I didn't even know you two had chatted." Standish replied with surprise.

"Yeah, we talked a little bit." There was a quiet knock on the door. "Hey, kid. Can I come in? Come on... I'm not this guy. I'm not any kind of authority figure here to-."

"No."

Charlie didn't even want to see the mech. Not the one that had just as many issues as Charlie had at the moment. Just like Charlie, he'd lost someone and he felt almost bad pushing anything onto him. "You don't sound OK, Charlie. I don't want to worry about you."

Charlie grimaced, was this really coming from this mech? For the love of pete, they barely knew each other. And while sure, he liked Sideswipe, that didn't already make them best friends. Not even if the mech didn't look at him the same way. Or act any different around him than other kids. But rather, he guessed, seemed to look at him as a person...

But no, he wasn't about to let his guard down. It'd been up for so long now that he felt worried about what would happen if he let it down. "Charlie, we're going to talk about this later." He heard Standish tell him rather bluntly. "You should go, when Charlie gets like this... Well, I can't even get to him and I've known him for a month. Regardless of whether you're friendly with him or not he isn't going to listen to anyone."

He looked over, finally, someone who got it. After a long moment, there was more silence and then a low. "I hope you feel better, kid..."

Charlie noticed it wasn't from the other side of the door. But rather, instead of the holoform, it was from outside the window where Sideswipe's real form stood. For the first time, Charlie saw the look of Sideswipe's genuine concern. His genuine look of understanding. Of understanding? How in the world could this mech even begin to understand him?

He never got an answer as within moments, he could hear Standish leave. And the giant robot outside his window soon followed.

...

Arcee smiled when Sideswipe finally returned that night, but the mech did not return it.

She could tell that Sideswipe was bothered by something, but she couldn't tell what. And given the line of work he'd just gotten back from doing, she wasn't sure she wanted to know. Yet she let her curiosity get the better of her. Taking a few steps forward as Sideswipe moved into the kitchen area of their quarters to get an Energon cube, she put her hands on his shoulders. "Alright, what's wrong? Last time you were there I couldn't get a goofy grin off your face." She explained.

Sideswipe's shoulders slumped a bit, but he still shook his head. "It's nothing, babe. I just... Something happened with one of the kids today. It bothered me, that's all." He spun around with the most fake looking smile she'd ever seen. "What about you, 'Cee? Catch any 'Cons for me today?"

Arcee crossed her arms after a moment. Realizing that Sideswipe was probably not going to cave on telling her anything more. But all the same, she looked him in the optics. "Plenty of them, at least six were in New Mexico. One of them got away though... Bugger hit Elita's and she's staying overnight in the med bay. So I guess we've both had rough days."

Sideswipe shook his head. "Seems like we have a few too many of them these days." Sideswipe noted honestly, taking a deep breath. "'Sounds like we could use some time to unwind..." He added rather quietly, rolling towards the couch.

Now Arcee knew one thing about Sideswipe, and that was that he didn't get that blunt often. And so, she felt her worry for her bondmate grow in that respect. Just how bad had things been with the kids? What had happened to the one that he'd mentioned? "Will you tell me what's wrong?" Arcee asked.

Sideswipe grimaced a little, and seated himself down. "Starting to think you were right, OK? Maybe this was a bad idea so soon after the sparkling's death. These kids get under your plating really easy, especially when you've gone through similar slag before. I ain't fragging giving up, but it's tough, 'Cee, alright?"

Arcee could only imagine; as this only reaffirmed her own worries of if she had gone to this group home. "I told you so... You're getting attached to one, aren't you?" Arcee questioned, his silence being all that she needed. "Sides, you can't do that. I told you I don't want kids right now... And whatever this kid is going through."

Sideswipe shook his head. "It isn't like that. I hardly know that kid. It just... He was so fragging upset after meeting possible families. And unlike us it wasn't even one-on-one. It was some party, some party where he couldn't get a second glance." He tried hard not to get angry. "I'm sorry 'Cee. But I have to have some pity for the kid. I know what that's like. To be rejected by too many families to count."

She stood there, silent for a long time. Of course, having been raised in a loving family, she didn't know what that was like. But it was, after all, all coming together rather subtly... "I'm sorry..."

"It's fine. But I'm just... I'm not getting attached, don't worry." Sideswipe shook his head for the fourth time. "Just shook me up a bit, that's all."

The way that Sideswipe looked at her as he said it though... Well, Arcee wasn't sure she could honestly buy that. Perhaps he wasn't attached now, but one of the things she loved about the mech was his big spark. His ability to feel something for those who needed it... And regardless of what he was saying, Arcee knew she'd made a connection with someone.

As fledgling as it might have been.

And so, she started her way towards Sideswipe, and seated herself on the couch. Placing her hand on his, she looked him quietly in the optics. They didn't say anything, but each knew what the other was thinking. "It's going to be OK, Sides..." Arcee explained.

Arcee hoped that her words would be enough to keep him going. Because despite the fact she knew that Sideswipe was finding this tough... She also knew that he'd be going back. She only hoped this fledgling bond wouldn't develop into something worth worrying about.

...

A/N: I know, a little more tense of a chapter. But not all of them can be "happy" after all. Hope it came off well none-the-less.


	5. Bullies, Friends, and Enemies

A/N: So I started working two jobs, and then got sick, but here's an update finally!

Thanks to **sidekicks-anonymous** for her work on this chapter!

...

 **CHAPTER 4  
Bullies, Friends, and Enemies**

"Come on guys, stop!"

"Make us, all we want is to look!"

It had been a couple of weeks since Sideswipe had let himself go back to the group home, but this was the last thing he wanted to hear. Standish had told him Charlie was in the back but he hadn't told him the boy wasn't alone. He supposed the man hadn't been aware though, as when the large Autobot rolled over he could see the discomfort on Charlie's face. Two boys, both older, were standing on either side of him, tossing a notebook between themselves as Charlie attempted to snatch it back.

He already knew that this wasn't just a game - but the fact Charlie had taken his hood off cemented that. The boy didn't seem to take it off unless he was around people he trusted. People he was comfortable with. And the look on his face? That told him this was not the case. "Those are mine!" Charlie snapped, trying to shove one of the kids. "No one's supposed to see them!"

"Why? What are they? Love letters? You got a little crushy-wushy?" One boy sneered.

"Come on, tell us Ingrim. Maybe we'll rip it if you don't!"

"HEY! That's enough!"

Both boys froze at Sideswipe's angry voice. At least they were smart enough to recognize that to him, they were only insects. "It's OK Mr. Autobot we were just playing!" One tried to reply, dropping the notebook which Charlie snatched back up.

"You call that playing?" Sideswipe asked. "Charlie's only eleven from what I know. You two aren't younger than what, fourteen? He's a little kid! And you practically had him in tears! So I suggest unless you want someone to know about it, you scatter like the cretins you are."

Neither boy argued, rushing away. Charlie himself was wiping away tears as he scanned the notebook as carefully as possible. Apparently, he was trying to make sure that they hadn't done any damage to it. "Hey, are you OK?" Sideswipe asked as he rolled over to him. "Didn't do anything else, did they?"

Charlie was silent, staring over at him quietly. He shook his head, and held his notebook close. "No... But they were threatening to rip it. I-I couldn't let them... The fire took my first book. If I lost my new one..." Charlie stuttered a little over his words. "Thanks, for helping... I really don't deserve it after last time."

"You were upset and angry. I understand." He motioned at the notebook. "So... Uh, what's in the notebook?"

Charlie was silent, clearly unsure of what to say. He looked down at the notebook for a moment, then chewed his lip. "It's private... I don't share it with anyone." Charlie was silent again after that, but spoke up. "But I guess you stuck up for me so I'll tell you if you don't ask to see them."

"I'm not here to invade your privacy." Sideswipe replied honestly.

"I... I write songs." Charlie replied honestly. "My dad used to play guitar, and he taught me. Taught me to write music too..." He explained.

"Was he a musician?"

"He was before my big sister was born... He played in a band." Charlie replied quietly. "Quit so he could be home with her and mom more."

Sideswipe nodded, now most definitely understanding Charlie's protection of it. Music was a link, he realized, to Charlie's father that had now passed. He seated himself beside Charlie, who had sat down on a bench. "Wow, that's pretty cool, having a dad that used to play guitar in a band. Would I have heard of them?" He asked.

"They were called Streetheads... They weren't that big. But they made an album." Charlie shrugged, looking saddened by talking about his father. "Dad was really proud of it, too."

Sideswipe didn't think he should tell him that he hadn't ever heard of that band. But he didn't want to lie about it either. So instead, he gave a small smile. "Hey, maybe I'll go back to the base tonight and listen to some of their music." He told him with enthusiasm. "I bet I'll like them, I like most Earth music."

Charlie tried to form a weak smile at that. But it was clear to the front-liner that the subject was just making him feel sadder. "Hey..." the Autobot finally spoke up. "You think Standish would let you leave the home for a little while?"

Charlie blinked. "I dunno, why?"

"I got an idea of how to cheer you up." Sideswipe explained. "Let's go ask him."

"But don't you have to stay here? You have work to do!" Charlie replied as Sideswipe started to roll towards where he knew Standish would be. "They're going to start soon."

"Eh, let me worry about that." Sideswipe winked. "Come on, kid. Just trust me."

...

"I really can't accept this..."

"Sure you can, both Standish and Prime said it was OK..."

"That's not what I mean."

Charlie glanced at Sideswipe, then at the rack of CDs. Unlike most kids, Charlie owned a CD player instead of an iPod. It was donated to the group home, and he'd snatched it in hopes of eventually being able to afford CDs. But when Sideswipe had asked Charlie if he had one, he had no idea this was his intention. "And why not?" Sideswipe asked.

Charlie raised an eyebrow. "Do you even have money?"

Sideswipe reached into his holoform's pocket to take out a small card. "It's a government-issued card we all keep in our subspace. As long as I don't spend excessive amounts of cash, I'm good. They let us use it for Earth amenities I might need." He explained.

"You can't use government money."

"Charlie, take a deep breath. And just pick out a couple of CDs that catch your eye." Sideswipe insisted, pulling one off the shelf. "What about Taylor Swift? I hear she's big with teens and tweens."

"Uh, yeah, not my kinda thing." Charlie shifted the hood of his jacket further over his head as another patron walked past. Even if no one in the music store was actually looking at him, he still felt a great level of fear.

"Well, what is your kind of thing? Rock? Punk? Metal? Nah, can't really see you being a metal person." Sideswipe stated as if thinking out loud.

"I guess I like Imagine Dragons... Maybe some Florence and the Machine." Charlie managed finally. "Uh... And I kind of like country too... You know, Rascal Flatts, Carrie Underwood..."

"Hold up, you like Carrie Underwood, but not Taylor Swift?"

Charlie shrugged his shoulders. "Not my kind of country music... I mean, when she did sing country music." He then paused. "Why? What kind of music do YOU like?"

Sideswipe shrugged his shoulders right back. Then picked up a couple of different music CDs, revealing Metallica, 3 Doors Down, and Good Charolette, among others. "Kinda a little metal and alternative... Some rap's OK and so is country... But country isn't exactly my forte—Too sappy most of the time." He explained. "Why? Is that the kind of music you like playing?" He asked at the saddened look on Charlie's face.

"Country's cool... I can express myself with it."

"I did say I like SOME country!" Sideswipe defended himself. "And besides, I bet I'd like your kind of country... You strike me as a kid that would strive to be different."

Charlie simply looked at him for a moment, then at the CDs. "So, can I help pay at least? I think I have five dollars..." He explained.

"Keep your money. This is my way of cheering you up." Sideswipe replied honestly, his voice firm. "Come on, let's go pay for them. I'm sure they'll be wondering where we are by now."

Charlie looked ready to protest, but hardly had time to open his mouth before Sideswipe took the CDs. He watched the mech walk off with them, and only after a minute, followed. He didn't say much while Sideswipe paid, but when he did hand Charlie the bag of CDs the boy spoke very clearly. "Thanks..." He managed. "I really don't know what to say other than that."

"Don't have to say anything else." Sideswipe stated as he led him out the door. "So, did I do the job of cheering you up? Or should we stop somewhere else?"

Charlie shook his head, his face flushing. "Nah, this is awesome. I'm just not sure what I did to deserve it." He explained, then moved his hood even further over his face. "Besides, I want to get back before someone notices... Well, y'know." He started, his voice small.

"There's no reason to be ashamed. I've known lots of people with a disfigurement. Even Cybertronians." Sideswipe let him know, shaking his head. "You shouldn't be afraid of people seeing what you look like."

Charlie looked at Sideswipe with a frown as he climbed into his real form. Sideswipe wasn't sure what Charlie had going through his head, but he got a feeling it was nothing that would build him up as a person. Letting his holoform disappear, and pulling out of the space out front, he began to speak up again. "I know it's probably hard... I can't even relate really. But you can't walk through life afraid." He explained.

There wasn't a reply for the first leg of their drive back, but then Charlie spoke up. "It's not my fault... Most people just get scared, or look at me funny." Sideswipe was silent, letting Charlie speak his mind. "I don't like that I can't go anywhere without getting stared at."

"Let them stare; that just shows how backwards some people are." Sideswipe replied. "Not everyone in the world is against you, Charlie. Look at me, I'm not."

"You feel sorry for me."

"No, I don't." Sideswipe replied. "You're my friend. At least, I think we're friends."

Charlie shifted a little, not sure how to respond to that. He hadn't known the mech long, but they were definitely "friendly". But... People who were just friendly didn't do stuff like this, did they? Charlie didn't know anymore... It had been such a long time since he'd made friends. He'd had plenty at his old school, and neighborhood, but then the fire happened and he'd moved homes, and schools. And though he'd known his old friends would look at him no different, the other kids? They were a different story. He felt nervous about trying to meet new people, especially when he'd moved so much on top of everything else.

And then there were kids like the bullies...

But Sideswipe at least didn't seem like them. "I don't know... I guess so. If you want to be." Charlie shrugged.

"Just said we already were."

Sideswipe was pretty sure, though Charlie tried to hide it, he gave a small smile at that.

...

"So much for not getting attached."

"Oh shove it up your aft, Charlie's a good kid."

Sunstreaker only gave a knowing smirk at Sideswipe. His twin had been looking up the music of the "Streetheads" ever since he'd gotten home. "Right, so how is the dad's music? Anything worth looking up? Or mainly just gaging what you'd have to live up to if you convince Arcee to adopt?"

Sideswipe almost threw an Energon cube at his twin's helm at that one. Arcee could come into their quarters at any minute and he didn't want Sunstreaker giving her the wrong impression. Sure, Charlie was a great kid, but he wasn't even sure he wanted to adopt at this point. "He's got some pretty good music... I'd recommend it." He explained. "Now if you'd stop bringing up the adoption thing—"

"Even if it's a good solution to your issue-."

"I'd really appreciate it, slagger." Sideswipe groaned. "I hardly know this kid. I just got him to consider us friends..."

Sunstreaker chuckled at his own brother's denial of the obvious fondness he had for the boy. "Whatever... I'm downloading this guy's music now... Just in case you're a lying piece of slag." There was a long moment, and then Sunstreaker spoke. "Hey, squishy's band actually isn't that bad, you're right. I like the melody on this one...Pretty good. For _human_ music anyway."

Sideswipe leaned back, then looked up at his twin. "So, did I miss anything good today? I was really itching to get in on the action... After Charlie and I got back, I was really bored."

"Not really, a couple of 'Con sightings outside of town. We haven't found where they were yet, though." Sunstreaker replied. "Lennox is doubling security though. They think whoever it is was behind that terrorist threat last month..." He explained.

Sideswipe grinned. "Well the closer they are, the easier it will be to kick their afts. So I can't complain about that." The sound of a door opening grabbed his attention. "Hey babe, pull up a seat. Sunny was just telling me about the Decepticons outside of town..."

Arcee strutted inside, taking a seat next to Sideswipe. The exhaustion was evident in her optics as she stared over at her bondmate. "Did you tell him the more important news...?" Arcee asked, though by the look in Sunstreaker's optics, he hadn't. "For the love of Primus, Sunstreaker. Prime told you to tell him."

"I uh, forgot?" Sunstreaker asked.

"Tell me what?" Sideswipe asked, now starting to get up.

"Just don't shoot the messengers." Arcee replied, putting a hand on his arm. "I think I should at least take away your arm blades before we tell you."

"Enough! I'm not a sparkling. I can feel how tense you both are... So before my spark rips apart from the bond, will someone tell me what is up?" Sideswipe asked, his voice raised and very tense. "Better let it be Arcee, she breaks bad news to me better."

Arcee shot Sunstreaker a pointed glare that said "Thanks for putting me in this position." Before finally turning to look back at Sideswipe, still holding his arms. "Rollback was with them, Sides. They recognized his energon signature and..."

Sideswipe's shoulder cannon popped out and fired at the wall. Luckily they were used to this when Sideswipe was angry, so it had been reinforced. But the dark look in the mech's optics already told them that he was angry enough to burn a hole in the metal if he wanted to.

"Sides..."

But it was without a word that Sideswipe got up, and rolled out of the room, clearly ready to raise hell if someone didn't do something.

"Frag it all, Sunstreaker! You talked about it but left that out?" Arcee yelled. "You weren't even supposed to bring it up at all until tomorrow's meeting!"

"Yeah... My bad."

The backhand that Arcee gave him before transforming down, and high tailing it after Sideswipe was all that needed to be said.


End file.
